FOR OUR PALATE

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APPEARANCE

Not just references the basic color, but also how rich/pale and clear the drink is.

Richness

Deep / Deep –  Smoothly Melaninated –  Lightly Melaninated –  Lacking Pigment

Color

WHITE – Mayonnaise – French Vanilla – Skeet

YELLOWWatered Down Lemonade – High Yellow – Yellow Bone – Mustard – Non Drinking Water Urination

ORANGE – 18k Grill – Gold Chain – Marmalade – Macaroni – Sweet Potato 

PINK – Red Neck – Sunburned – Butt Beat – Vagina – Rose 

RED – Fire – Flaming – Hawaiian Punch – Chicago  – Velvet Cake

PURPLE – Prince – Grape Drink – Kool Aid – Egg Plant

GREEN – Fire Weed – Paper -Front Lawn 

BROWN – Creole – Cigarette Butt – Red Bone – Caramel Complexion – Sun Kissed – Dirt Weed – Root Beer – Dookie

Clarity

VS1 Clear – Diamond Clear – Tap Water – Cloudy Piss – Gumbo

SMELL / TASTE

A description can only be considered accurate if the parties involved have a common basis for understanding – our kitchens and corner stores stocked the same fundamental commodities.

WHITE – wine descriptors 

RED – wine descriptors 

BOTH can be used for some wines and spirits

Flowers / Fruit

Lemon Marange PieLemon Heads – Tang –  Bananna Pudding Peach CobblerCarrot CakeApple Pie   Sour Green ApplesDole Pinapple – Now & Laters – Starburts – Kool Aid – Black Berry Cobbler – Pumpkin Pie – Sweet Potato Pie  – Cranberry Sauce – Pecan Pie – Apple Jacks – Fruit Roll Ups – Strawberry Fanta -Fig Newtons – Watermelon Jolly Rancher – Red Vines / Twizzlers – Raspberry Sherbert

Vegetables / Herbs

 Butter Milk Biscuts Corn BreadCorn Tortillas Corn Flakes Oatmeal Corn Chips Hush Puppies Grits Yellow Rice Black Eye Peas Wheat Waffles –  Oatmeal (butter) MintFlour Tortillas –  Collard Greens – String Beans – Boiled Cabbage – Okra – Stuffing – Sweet Corn –  Red Beans – Flour Pancakes – Sauteed Mushroom – White Gravy –  Baked Beans – Cole Slaw  – Spinach – Hash Browns –  – Potato Chips

Savory

Baked Macaroni & CheeseBreaded Fish –  Lemon Seasoned Salmon CroquettesCheeseCandied FruitFried – Pork Chops – Oxtails – Chitterlings – Smoked BBQ Ribs –  – Fried Chicken Breast – Fried Catfish –  Gizzards – Pulled Pork – Jerk Chicken – Curry Lamb –  Bacon – Sausage – Pork Rinds

Oak / Spices

 Garlic SaltPound Cake Candy CornVanilla Ice CreamMarshmellows  Almond Extract Vanilla PuddingLawery’s seasoning salt – Sweet BBQ Sauce – Season Salt – Candied Yams – Cheese Cake – Tootsie Rolls – Sugar Daddies – Jolly Ranchers – Cinnamon Toast Crunch – Apple Jacks – Hershey’s Syrup – Aunt Jemima  – Toast – Coffee – Charcoal – Mosquete Wood – Black Liquorice  – Butterscotch – Caramel – Cinnamon – Nutmeg – Cumin Powder

BRINGING IT HOME

This is where you bring it all home, combining your opinions with what you’ve described in the sections above. No need to hold back and be conservative, different opinions create conversation.   Did you like it?  Why?  What could have made it better or worse?

Quality Level

The Shit – Fire – Bomb – Aight – Could Be Better – Lacking – Weak A.F. – Trash

Rationale

Sweet:  Syrup – Pixey Stick – Powered Sugar

Acidic: Tart – Lemon

Mouth Feel: Silky Smooth – Fine Sawdust – Sand Granules

Alcohol Potency / Strength:  Creeper – Slight Kick – On Yo Ass – Dragon Piss – Butt Naked Passed Out

Complexity:  Predictable – Simple Simon – Two Faced – Leads a Secret Life 

Duration: -A Quickie – Minute Man – Victory Lap – The Marathon Continues

Age:  Robbing the Cradle – Suga Daddy – Cougar – Expired –